New Blogging Buddy

If you have a spare moment whilest blurfing - be sure to take a peek here.

Cards by Pam is a new blog started by my good buddy Pam. She, like me loves Pollycraft designs and has wonderful cardsshe has made on show.

We are planning to get our act together sooner rather than later, to get things made for any upcoming Christmas craft fairs but haven't got organised yet.

We're also taking ourselves away for a girly night in October to visit the SECC, Glasow for the Hobbycraft Exhibition. Can hardly wait......

The Wonder of YOU

You'd think I'd be all cried out by now...but tonight I sat alone (hubby on late shift, kids in bed) and cried even more. Not because I'm down or upset but because I'm lucky enough to have FRIENDS.

Paula and Emma - you have been wonderful with your emails and "hugs" (i can feel them) x

Janet - miles apart but a huge part of my life and always inspires me x

Sheena - You barely know me but from one swap we did and you sent a wonderfl, beautiful card reminding me to keep my "chin up" x

Pamela - texting or phone - I know your there x

I just needed to cry because I couldn't fathom or work out what I have done to have or deserve such good, honest and loving FRIENDS.


THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart

Who said things couldn't get worse??????

ME! Wrong!

I had to visit the doctor today to get the results of my latest blood test. It seems I have problems with my white blood cells - they are low causing autoimmune problems. Basically don't have enough to fight infections. It also transpires that it has been this way for years.

I was given a total transfusion at birth and was given 3 pints of blood after the birth of Cali. I couldn't quite take it all in this morning after I heard the words bone marrow. That would be the worst case scenario.

I just have to wait it out and see. I have another test in a month. Think I should go and get an X tattooed on my arm, because it took 3 attempts to get blood the last time, lol.

On a better note - my doctor has kindly offered to put my name forward at his next practice meeting for help getting light therapy for SAD. My finances are very poor at the moment and light therapy is not available on the NHS here in the UK. Fingers crossed, eh?

These things are set to try us, but I'm about all out of fight....

Gone AWOL....

For those of you who check in on me from time to time, sorry! It appears I have done a bunk for a wee while.

I'm the kind of person who wears her heart on her sleeve yet still sees the good in everything around her (or tries to!). I suffer terribly from depression and sometimes just need to shut myself away from everything and everyone. This doesn't mean I don't appreicate everyone who cares about me, I can't explain it, but sometimes I just don't feel worthy of friends, love, happiness or anything. Does that make sense?

Anyway - my medication has been put up and I have been put on sleeping tablets to try and help, so we'll see how that goes. I've also been referred to a counsellor. My doctor and I are pretty convinced that I also suffer SAD, seasonal affect disorder. But because of money problems, its hard to treat it because light therapy is not available on the NHS and can be very expensive. And I need to get a washing machine before I can think of buying things for myself! So onwards we go......

I don't mean to dwell or be full of self pity and I know there are people out there worse than me, but this bloody depression messes with my brain and thoughts. Even when I can't sleep the nihgt s are easy - getting through the days are hard.

I love you all and hope to get back on here soon a more cheerier person. MWAH

Tracey xxx